Hospital Part 2

The morning started off with a bang. They gave me a total of three doses of the pill to ripen my cervix and would wait on the petocin to see if I needed it to start up the contractions, but the way things were heading they didn’t think I would need them since I was contracting pretty regularly every 10 minutes or so and they were pretty strong. The nurse came in and gave me my last dose of the pill and I went to the bathroom and I don’t know what it is but once I came out they hit and hit hard. They were happening every 2-3 minutes and not slowing down.
Now the weather was great to say the least and we were watching the storm and wrecks everywhere from the snow and none of either of our families were here yet and some weren’t even on their way yet so we began to wonder the way things were going if they would even make it. The nurse (Joanne) I had for the day shift was AMAZING. She was so sweet and encouraging to both of us. One of the times she came back in she informed me my platelet’s were low so they would be coming back to draw my blood again. The main reason was because if they lowered anymore which at this point they were 142 then I may not be able to get an epidural. Yeah no pain meds!! So began to freak out. They had two anesthesiologists and one of them wouldn’t allow me to get one if I dropped below 150 and the other wouldn’t if I dropped below 100. When she came back with the second draw results it had dropped again to 104 so she said she would go check with him and see if he would or could. I really don’t know how you take someone telling you may not get anything for pain in one of the most painful situations possible.
She came back about 15 minutes later and by that point I was in so much pain I really wasn’t functioning during contractions. The doctor on call was the one that allowed epidurals with counts as low as 100 luckily so they began the whole set up for the procedure. From my stand point it took forever for him to set up and finish. Mainly because the whole time I had to sit up, sit still, and lean over in a ball, all the while I was contracting. PAIN!!! When he was all done I waited and waited and finally the contractions went from a 10 to about a 4, which I would take any day from what I was feeling. It was then that everyone finally showed up, Dan's parents, Jordan, sister and her girls, my mom and dad, Gus, Mel, Mona and Tabby. Aunt Twila was on her way to and was going to pick up the kids on the way to the hospital from Ryan since they were at home playing in the snow.

Everyone hung out in the room with me until or should I say until I remember, till the contractions started to get so bad that the epidural was slowly not working. They called for the doctor to come check me and only the right hip was all that was numb at that point and everything else I could feel. The worst pain though was right in my pelvis which I knew was her head trying to come out but she was stuck. He gave me three more doses of medicine right into my IV and Dan was pushing my button for more meds over and over but NOTHING was working. So the doctor was gonna just put in a new epidural so the nurse thought it was a good idea to check me before hand. Well, she did and I was fully dilated and she said” ok it’s time to push”. I lost it, for many reasons, one being the pain I was in and the pain I knew I would have to go through, how scared I was to do it with no pain remedy at all, but most of all because I didn’t want to have her. If I did then she wasn’t safe in me and would have to deal with how much she would be able to fight and handle once she was cut from me. Dan held me and cried with me and kept reassuring me I could and she would be ok. My mom and sister cried to and tried so hard to encourage me. But no one could take the fear I was feeling away. As they had me start pushing it was a pain I could not even explain but puts every pain I’ve felt look like a day at the spa. After about 40 minutes they had me move to my side, oh but this was after they had to take a mattress from under me. So if I wasn’t in enough pain I had to deal them moving me around. They said she was turned on her side and not able to get down so I laid on my right side to push and push I did. I wanted to stop so many times and didn’t want to go anymore, because of exhaustion but also because the pain just got worse with every push.
She was finally ready to come so thy called the doctor in, which I will be writing a letter to complain about. She was MEAN!! First was the fact she yelled at my family to stop taking pictures or should I say “the flashes need to stop!!!”. Then when the head was coming she had the nerve to tell me not to push, and last but last but not least as she was coming I began to freak out from the pain and she told me to get ahold of myself. Now had I been able to move I probably would have kicked her. Was miserable.
Then she was here. She came out and tears filled the room but all I could think was, cry baby cry. She looked at me and they took her away to clean her and get her breathing. Dan watched her before they took her into NICU and told me she cried over on the table and made a few more noises. I was so burnt out and did not feel good but finally got ahold of myself and they brought first the kids in. They were so sweet and so concerned but at this point we still didn’t know how she was. Then the nurse came in and said she was breathing!! They had her hooked up to a C Pap, which is a type of ventilator but she was breathing. It was such a relief I have been carrying for so many months that Dan and I broke down and with every person that filed in the room to hear that she was still alive and breathing the sense of relief and tears filled them too.
We have all carried such a burden since the news of not knowing if I would even have a minute with her. The nurse then came in about an hour later and said we would be able to go see her so I rushed like crazy to get my robe on and be ready for her and then it was time!! Dan pushed me back with the nurse to the NICU and there she was. Surrounded by nurses but they moved aside and I saw her face. She was so beautiful!! She was making a half cry noise as they all probed at her and then they gave her a Vita min K shot and then I heard her cry. It was the sweetest noise to hear. I just sat and stared at her until they told us they needed to do some more things to her. It was so gut wrenching to leave her and went back in the room to tell everyone how beautiful she was. I
I was able to tell them my baby girl was beautiful and alive!! Words I never expected to say.
Everyone stayed for a while but left one by one and we sat there in silence with smiles knowing we were parents now to a beautiful baby girl and then the phone rang.